Do I?

I always thought that the idea of marriage wouldn't haunt me until the age of 30.

Just recently, I was confronted by this situation: Lover told me that once he have established life abroad, he will come back to fetch me. He will be leaving soon and will be staying there for quite a long time.

I feel ecstatic and pensive at the same time.
Ecstatic because this guy wants to live a life with me. It is difficult to imagine who would like to marry a quasi-domesticated gal. I'd rather work my ass off earning a living then paying somebody to maintain the household. I might do some cooking but that would be dependent on my mood. When I was younger, I pictured myself with a kid and no husband to deal with. I always thought that life would be better that way. Oh, and I even have this dark desire of being a mistress.

Primarily, can I survive the initial change? I don't know. After four years of being with him, I've asked for a break up claiming that long distance relationship is too difficult for me. He easily granted my wish because of disappointment. I felt his frustration. I felt his pain.

I had my fair share of sleepless nights and tired eyes from the break up.

I think calling it quits softens the blow.

P.S. We decided to spend the remaining months dating... each other.